i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
