11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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