I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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