The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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