Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
