Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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