I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
