the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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