Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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