Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
