Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
