I'm gonna have a badass scar
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
