What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
