we have pet lesbian snakes
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
