And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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