I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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