i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
