I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
