It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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