wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I love you.
Bad choice
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