Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry turr hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better

Fav 26 2122 5107
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.

Fav 35 4459 1994
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.

Fav 13 4116 1673
share tweet
(843): View more from South Carolina

We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again

Fav 23 1237 3699
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay

Fav 9 4730 1244
share tweet
(631): View more from New York

I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?

Fav 6 2511 964
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(806): View more from Texas

He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.

(1-806): View more from Texas

I feel like you never had a virginity..

Fav 10 3476 1557
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.

Fav 1 384 734
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(337): View more from Louisiana

Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.

Fav 2 32 75
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT