Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
