omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do vagina's smell?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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