Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
