apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
