I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
