Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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