I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
