I wannas sexs uuuuu
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
