My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
