Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
