My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
