entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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