Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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