I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
