so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
