very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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