he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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