Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
