he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
