She's JV to your varsity
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize