I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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