you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize