girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She bit a glass in half.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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