She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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