I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
