I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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