Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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