Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
