So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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