so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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