just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
