You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
