mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
