its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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