He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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