i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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