what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
All I want is dick and wine.
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