yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
