Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize