I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
