Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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