I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
